Yaniv Preiss

Cynicism, according to Wikipedia, is an attitude characterized by a general distrust of the motives of others. A cynic may have a general lack of faith or hope in people motivated by ambition, desire, greed, gratification, materialism, goals, and opinions that a cynic perceives as vain, unobtainable, or ultimately meaningless. The term originally derives from the ancient Greek philosophers, the Cynics, who rejected conventional goals of wealth, power, fame, and honor.

Displaying cynicism – Behavior

As always, behavior is what we say, how we say it, our facial expressions, body gestures and work products.

Cynicism examples:

• An employee asked a specific thing from their manager several times. When the manager eventually said that it was possible, the employee responded, “How nice of you to finally get to my simple ask.”
• An employee tells their team members, “Oh, time for the retrospective meeting, where we talk about issues and do absolutely nothing about them.”
• An employee tells their manager, “Great, let’s do the 1:1 where you can show how much you care about me,” while rolling their eyes.
• An employee being asked how things are going and the reply “everything is just soooo amazing” accompanied by large hand gestures.
• Senior management announcing a new director will join, and an employee jokes that “now he will show us how to do our work.”

What cynicism serves

• A short-lived relief for the person displaying cynicism, expressing their frustration, discontent or fear
  • but the actual issue is not resolved
• A feeling of supremacy and a subtle way to hurt someone
  • but it’s not that subtle and indirect
• A way to give feedback or criticize others in a way the lightens a complex situation
  • but it creates antagonism; there are more effective ways to do that
• An attempt to gain social capital by being wit, funny and perceived as smart
  • but there are other ways to do it, not at the account of someone else
• A belief that one can deliver a message safer – they can always claim it as only joking in case of retaliation
  • but the damage has already been done
• Simply being funny
  • but sometimes people laugh due to the awkwardness, and there are other topics to be funny about
• A belief that being passive-aggressive is positive
  • but passive-aggressiveness it is in fact aggressive
• Comply with local culture, if this is what being promoted
  • but it further strengthens negative behaviors
• Form an alliance against something or someone
  • but what happens if you need to work closely with them later on?

Why cynicism is bad

• It breaks trust
• It may cause others to minimize contact
• It is condescending, a display of contempt
• It promotes helplessness instead of addressing issues
• It breaks psychological safety, and hence, innovation, learning and growth, asking, admitting mistakes and sharing knowledge
• Serious conversations derail into jokes, preventing from dealing with the real issues
• It can be contagious, seemingly cool, mimicking especially higher authorities
• It’s always at the account of someone, not a victimless crime

How to stop cynicism

• Identify and give feedback to directs: “When you use cynicism, it breaks trust and prevents us from seriously addressing the issue. Can you do it differently next time?”
• Set boundaries by telling peers: “I thought you’d like to know that your cynicism doesn’t feel nice.”
• Set psychological safety by encouraging questions, admitting mistakes, not shooting the messenger of bad news, showing vulnerability, being open to answer and explain decisions
• Identify the root cause of the cynicism, such as management changing priority or breaking a promise, high workload driving employees close to burnout. Then talk about the issue directly instead of indirectly
• Keep your word, proactively follow up
• Do not display cynicism as a response to cynicism
• Share information transparently. Not only the reality of the situation and the plans, but also why decisions were made
• Lead by example – display the communication behavior you want to see and don’t violate the company values